Everyone you meet appears to have tentacles growing out of places that you wouldn't expect tentacles to be growing from.

You start out each morning with a 30-minute jog around the bathroom.

Every time you see a street sign, you have a tremendous urge to relieve yourself on it.

You wear your boxers on your head because you heard it will ward of evil dandruff spirits.

You're always having to apologize to your next door neighbour for setting fire to his lawn decorations.

Every commercial you hear on the radio reminds you of death.

People stay away from you whenever they hear you howl.

Your breath smells more and more like squirrel dung each passing day.

Nobody listens to you anymore, because they can't understand you through that scuba mask.

You begin to stop and consider all of the blades of grass you've stepped on as a child, and worry that their ancestors are going to one day seek revenge.

You have meaningful conversations with your toaster.

Your father pretends you don't exist, just to play along with your little illusion.

You collect dead windowsill flies.

Every time the phone rings, you shout, "Hey! An angel just got its wings!"

You like cats. Especially with mayo.

You cry at the end of every episode of Gilligan's Island because they weren't rescued.

You put tennis balls in the microwave to see if they'll hatch.

You have a predominant fear of fabric softener.

Your dentist asks you why each individual tooth has your name etched on it, and you tell him it's for security reasons.

Melba toast excites you.

When the waiter asks for your order, you ask to go into another room to tell him because "the napkins have ears."

You tend to agree with everything your mother's dead uncle tells you.

You argue with yourself about which is better, to be eaten by a koala or to be loved by an infectious disease.

You like to sit in cornfields for prolonged periods of time, and pretend that you're a stalk.

You try to make a list of the Warning Signs of Insanity. (cough)

People offer you help, but you unfortunately interpret this as a violation of your rights as a boysenberry.

You keep thinking this is the year for the Red Sox.

You despise the voices in your head, especially the one that speaks only Hindi.

You see migrating flocks of ducks in the fall and only your attachment to the toaster keeps you from joining them.

The person you always talk to is invisible to everyone but you.

You like reading lists like this.

1. Full Name: soni..sth, sth... (i4gt)
2. Nicknames: dorrie, duffus!...n "oie , u dere"
3. Birthday: 24th feb
4. Place of Birth: ask my mom!
5. Zodiac Sign: pisces
6. Sex: ...lolz, havnt done it yet!!!! ummm ostensibly female, but lack of breast size lends disturbing androgyny
7. Grade: FINAL YEAR IN O"LEVLZ < WOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!...im doin mi GCE's
8. School:qadeemz high
9. Occupation: ahhh curently a hobo..future planz:- nada..
10. Residence: ....?
11. MSN Screen Name: ...dorrie<<<just keep swimming, just keep swimming

__Your Appearance___

12. Hair Colour: brownish, uasualli with highlightes
13. Hair Length: probabli abt 5 inchez past mi shoulderz
14. Eye colour:borin brown
15. Weight: no comment
16. Height: 5 ft sth...2inchez(im guessin)
17. Braces: nope
18. Glasses:yup(sumtimez)
19. Piercings: yup
20. Tattoos: i wish
21. Righty or Lefty: Righty

___Your 'Firsts'___

22. First best friend: carol...i think
23. First Award: dis "jump rope 4 da heart" thing in 1st grade
24. First Sport You joined: soccer
25. First pet: a snail
26. First Real Vacation: sumwere in auzzie
27. First phone: nokia...
28. First Love: cant remeber....

___ Favourites___

29. Movie: ahhh....da eternal sunshine of da spotless mind
30. TV programme: 70z show...south park, frndz
31. Colour: Black/lime green
32. Rapper: ........none
33. Band: linkin park/nickelback
34. Song Right Now: 1985
35. Friends: "Eeyoreeee!!!! "oumi", ashit(aisha) ,sabbee n umair
36. Sweet: weirdz
37. Sport to Play: im 2 lazy
38. Restaurant: ihop
39. Favourite brand: roxy!
40. Store: accessorize!!!!
41. School Subject: hahah...kiddin rite?
42. Animal: mi siter...lol...
43. Book: gathering blue
44. Magazine: i duno...cosmo gurl i guess
45. Shoes: my pink flip-flops
___Currently___

46. Feeling: ...hungry
47. Single or Taken? ummm...ummmm...ummm
48. Have a crush: yep ...on nabbieez cat !!!!
49. Eating: nothing(dats y im hungry)
50. Drinking: nothing
51. Typing: wordz
52. Online: duhh...wat do u think?
53. Listening To: predictable (good charlotte)
54. Thinking About: making a sandwhich afetr im done with dis
55. Wanting To: get this over with
56. Watching: da screeen
57. Wearing: an old white tshirt with monkeys on it n my purple boxer shorts n cute light -pink bra.....nuff info?
___Your Future___

58. Want Kids: hell no!
59. Want to be married: sum day, i guess
60. Careers in Mind: .......
61. Where do you want to live: nz or sumwere in cali
62. Car: does a super marker trolly count az car??
__Which is Better With The Opposite Sex___

63. Hair colour: ...black
64. Hair length: short, but not 2 short
65. Eye colour: green, hazel
66. Measurments: wtf?
67. Cute or Sexy: both!
68. Lips or Eyes: eyez!
69. Hugs or Kisses: both
70. Short or Tall: taller dan me
71. Easygoing or serious: more easy going than serious
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: more spontaneous dan romantic
73. Fatty or Skinny: skinny...or fat, but not 2 fat
74. Sensitive or Loud:both
75. Hook-up or Relationship: Relationship
76. Sweet or Caring: a bit of both
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: Trouble Maker!

___Have you ever______

78. Kissed a Stranger: nope
79. Had Alcohol: im a gud gurl
80. been in a police station: nah
81. Ran Away From Home: i wish
82. Broken a bone: yup
83. Got an X-ray: yup
84. Been with someone: ...
85. Broken Someone’s Heart: i duno
86. Broke Up With Someone: ...
87. Cried When Someone Died:yes. my grandad
88. Cried At School: i guess in 1st grade
Do You Believe In___

89. God: definately
90. Miracles: nah
91. Love At First sight: FUCK NO!
92. Ghosts: *BlaGH*
93. Aliens: nah
94. Soul: yes
96. Hell: yup
97. Angels: i guess...
98. Boogie Monster: wen i waz 6 , yes
99. Horoscopes: hell no!

___Answer Truthfully___

100. Is There Someone You Want But You Know You Can't Have: again...umm...umm...umm....

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1. Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)

2. Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)

3. Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Wal-Mart has a bigger selection)

4. Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)

5. Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)

6. Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)

7. Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)

8. Thou shall not wear revealing clothes in class.
(Hooters pays more)

9. Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")

10. Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave 'em in the middle)